Ok I’m back…What the heck happened?…I don’t know, but the Bachelor and American Idol have been consuming so much of my time lately (Not really, the Bachelor is the worst show on television…Anytime I hear SAHM start talking about it…I pretend Luke has pooped and get out of there…FYI Crazy Courtney gets picked…They will be broken up in 4 months).
So let me tell you whats been going on with our adventures. First and foremost, I’m part of the club now! Yes, you heard it hear first. I’m talking with the SAHM’s like we’ve been old friends. We are even on first name basis…They sing special versus of some songs that include “Daddy” instead of “Mommy”, everyone looks at me and smile..(Ohhhh Its so goll dang cute..Whatever). I think the last Rhyme Tyme brought me to a whole new level of stardom. So, when the woman leading forgot how one of the songs was sung no one respond…Well except for a certain SAHD! Here is how it played out…(Put in proper script format just cause I watched the Oscar’s yesterday)
I can’t quite remember if this is a song or if we just say it…Anyone know?
(Silence in the room)
Yeah its a sung song.
Ted shakes his head and thinks to himself why can’t you keep your mouth shut.
She then proceeds trying to sing it and the Rhyming is all wrong.
Ok I can’t remember how it goes.
Looking directly at SAHD Ted.
Would you mind singing it?
A look of terror appears upon SAHD Ted’s Face. All eyes are on him, we can tell he doesn’t want to sing, but knows he has to stay strong and blurt out the song. He clears his throat.
SAHD Ted (cracking voice)
Clap your hands 1,2,3. Clap your hands just like me.
Roll your hands 1,2,3. Roll your hands just like me.
The Instructor still has a confused look upon her face.
hmmm…I just don’t remember it. Would you mind leading us?
SAHD head falls in disbelief. He begins to sing and the Instructor tries to help and everyone starts singing. After the song is complete.
Sorry that you had to do that?
That’s fine, just next time let me warm up a bit.
FADE TO BLACK
Speaking of movies…I attended my first Mommy & Me movie! I walked into the theater and after I bought my ticket two SAHM’s were handing out a Mommy boot camp brochures…The women says, “Oh we love SAHD’s”. Then she points and says this is suppose to say…Dad’s welcome too! (Well then why doesn’t it…I really want to take this class cause I think it would be funny to blog about, but I’m not jumping and running around my stroller) So to make me feel more welcome I go and sit down towards the back cause there is some serious breastfeeding convention in the first few..well throughout the whole place (I bet there was some 50 gallons of milk drank during the film). So I’m just minding my business and I had one SAHM walk in looks at me and says, “Oh wow a Daddy’s here”…What haven’t you ever seen a F’ing Dad before…I mean why is it still such a shock to women…On to the movie, which I saw about a whole 48 seconds of. Lucas decided he couldn’t sit there and every time I tried rocking him or feeding him he just wouldn’t have any of it. I wanted to leave, but since I was one of the first ones there my stroller was blocked in by 108 other strollers I had to hold Lucas for the whole movie walking in and out of the theater. I wouldn’t call it a disaster, I would say it was a complete disaster. SAHD needs a better plan for next week!